WARM GREETINGS to friends, and CHEERS to my fellow hogs!
I hope Mother Nature is sharing a kind abundance with you this New Years’ Eve (hopefully not too snow-fully kind for our friends in the frozen North). Ice aside, today I smile wide as I celebrate my ninth wedding anniversary with an exceptional person who continues to surprise, delight, and inspire me, every day. I find this New Years’ 2024 to be a particularly auspicious occasion, considering that tomorrow marks the 1st of Gameliṓn, the Winter month of Weddings on the ancient Attic Calendar, a time of togetherness, feasts, and fond illumination.
With this in mind, I mean to share with you a composition I have completed, a Gamikós (“Matrimonial“) Script that I intend to be used for ceremonial usage.
As an additional to our growing collection of devotional liturgy, this script presents the unique proposition, in coherence with the teachings of our philosophical tradition that “Marriage is an Act of Romantic Justice” (elaborated below). The script is designed to dignify the Justice of all forms of partnership bound by mutual oaths to neither harm nor be harmed, and, as such, it is explicitly prohibited to be used by any officiants who deny any consenting adults the bliss of marriage. The specific protections I have advised are listed in the official document (below).
Ultimately, I fantasize about a day when our tradition will be recognized by legal institutions that protect the privileges of other wisdom traditions. We have yet to receive formal recognition of our own. Despite Thomas Jefferson having declared himself to be an Epicurean, despite Ethan Allen, founder of the Free State of Vermont having “struck a blow for Epicurus”, alongside his mentor, organizer of the Boston Tea Party, Thomas Young, despite these, and other historical precedences, we still lack several legal privileges afforded to other institutions.
Consequently, I hope that this may be among the first of a growing corpus we can use toward receiving formal, legal recognition to receive the same privileges as our religious neighbors.
Without further ado, BEHOLD, a Matrimonial Script!
Epicurean Gamikós (“Matrimonial”) Script
(also intended to observe plural unions)
(This script is explicitly PROHIBITED for use by any fellowship that does not recognize same-sex unions)
“Greetings, friends—and blessings to the betrothed!
It is my sincere privilege to receive you to this ceremony.
We gather to dedicate this [Spring/Summer/Autumn/Winter] [Morning/Afternoon/Evening] to [X] & [Y] [& Z+], to observe their vows, to recognize their nuptials, and to celebrate their fortuitous confluence. This gathering serves to provide public recognition for the private partnership our friends have engendered, pursuing happiness through the cultivation of abiding love—truly, no other fruit of nature can nourish our thirst for happiness so completely as can the fruit of companionship.
As the philosopher Epicurus wrote, “Of those things that wisdom prepares for a full life of blessedness, by far the most important is the possession of friendship” (Key Doctrine 27).
Epicurus taught that a eugamía, a “sweet partnership” must be cultivated with trust and mutual care. Like a thriving garden, with devotion and patience, love continues to flourish, long after its first harvest. The grace of Nature guides us to grow and compels us to pursue pleasure. As the Latin poet Lucretius wrote, we relish the natural “advantages of cohabitation” (DRN 5.1011).
Thus, by the innate grace of Nature, and with the immortal blessing of friendship, these mortal creatures before me now endeavor upon this notably ancient curiosity called matrimony!
Ancient history records the Sage of the Garden as having been born in the Winter month of Gameliṓn—incidentally, we receive the word Gameliṓn from the ancient Greek words gámos meaning “marriage” and gamēlía meaning “marriage feast”. Historically, then, the light of marriage would have illuminated the darkness of Winter, a month of feasts, to fill bellies and warm hearts.
We, too, mean to share the warmth of marriage by beholding this illumination of love.
The Sage of the Garden understood that the illuminating light of friendship perfectly prepares us for a life of happiness. He taught that “the wise will marry […] according to [proper] circumstances of life.” True friendship, therefore, is found at the heart of every happy marriage, never the promise of property and political power, nor appeasement to public pressure. The wise person seeks the pleasure of marriage only for the purpose of cultivating a sincere and abiding happiness.
True happiness, in the Epicurean tradition, is equally inseparable from integrity and justice, the justice that provides us with security, empowers confidence, and supports our greatest pursuits.
Matrimony is therefore an act of romantic justice. It is a peaceful pact between lovers to neither harm, nor be harmed, to work as a team in protecting shared interests, setting priorities and working to build a future together, savoring the endless pleasures of partnership and peace.
With Nature as our guide, let us now consecrate the justice of [X] and [Y]’s (and Z)’s abiding peace!
(Confirmation)
1. [X], do you have [Y’s] (& Z+’s) [ring(s), token(s)]?
RESPONSE: [Yes].
2. And [Y], do you have [X’s] (& Z+’s) [ring(s), token(s)]?
RESPONSE: [Yes].
3. And [Z+], do you have [X] & [Y]’s [rings, tokens]?
RESPONSE: [Yes].
(Exchange of Vows)
1. Then [X], do you invite this/these creature(s) to receive your loving partnership, to accept them, wholly and completely, embracing every tortured atom of their being, whether sweet or bitter, fit or infirm, prosperous or impoverished, cherishing your union and dignifying your affection, never ceasing to fight for your future together, so long as your love lasts?”
RESPONSE: [I do]
2. And [Y], do you accept this/these creature’s invitation to a loving partnership, to accept them, wholly and completely, embracing every tortured atom of their being, whether sweet or bitter, fit or infirm, prosperous or impoverished, cherishing your union and dignifying your affection, never ceasing to fight for your future together, so long as your love lasts?”
RESPONSE: [I do]
3. And [Z+], do you accept these creatures’ invitation to a loving partnership, to accept them, wholly and completely, embracing every tortured atom of their beings, whether sweet or bitter, fit or infirm, prosperous or impoverished, cherishing your union and dignifying your affection, never ceasing to fight for your future together, so long as your love lasts?”
RESPONSE: [I do]
(Exchange of Rings/Tokens)
1. [X], as a symbol of your union, please present the [ring(s), token(s), etc.] to [Y] (and Z+).
Recite this blessing:
‘I offer this/these [ring(s), token(s), etc.] to Y [and Z+] [pause for recitation]
as a symbol of my devotion, [pause for recitation]
a token of my enduring faith, [pause for recitation]
and an icon of abiding love.’ [pause for recitation]
2. [Y], please present the [ring(s), token(s), etc.] to [X] [and Z+].
Recite this blessing:
‘I offer this/these [ring(s), token(s), etc.] to [X] [and Z+] [pause for recitation]
as a symbol of my devotion, [pause for recitation]
a token of my enduring faith, [pause for recitation]
and an icon of abiding love.’ [pause for recitation]
3. [Z], please present the [rings, tokens, etc.] to [X] and [Y].
Recite this blessing:
‘I offer these [rings, tokens, etc.] to [X] and [Y+] [pause for recitation]
as a symbol of my devotion, [pause for recitation]
a token of my enduring faith, [pause for recitation]
and an icon of abiding love.’ [pause for recitation]
Finally, in unison, repeat after me:
‘We accept these [rings, tokens, etc.] as icons of faith, devotion, and abiding love.’
In the presence of friends, by the grace of nature, and in accordance with the guidance of the Gargettian, it is my overwhelming pleasure to behold the symphony of [X] and [Y] [and Z]. For the first time, I invite you to embrace in matrimony.
Dearest friends, live diligently and love passionately.”
N. H. Bartman
A Hog from the Herd
Society of Friends of Epicurus